“You can always do more than you think you can.” - Des
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She ran a mile in under eight minutes, completed two hours of martial arts training and asked only for a strip of medical tape to brace her re-aligned nose after a particularly aggressive round of sparring.
Her quads are hurting, today. She’s got bruises. She’s also got a gleam in her eye and a set to her jaw that defies explanation. Her grades are solid, her demeanor is confidence, squared.
It could all change tomorrow- but for today, for this moment, she knows who she is and where she’s going.
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In one week, we compete in a martial arts tournament as a fundraiser for St. Jude Children's Research Hospital. Because there are a world full of twelve year old girls who are too sick to stand up, much less break boards with their hands. Because there are a world full of Moms (and Dads) who are hurting, scared, worried and exhausted and depleted. Because, for today, Des and I can bring something to the table: our belief that each one of us can do more than we think we can.
This isn’t the glossy, glamourized, Facebook-edition of life: this is the real thing. Each one of us gets one shot at it, this time around. It’s not meant to be pretty, airbrushed, shiny or easy to look at; occasionally, though, it just explodes with unbelievable beauty, simple authenticity and genuine inspiration.
Right on cue, I’m certain to lose a few more “followers” from the sidebar as a result of this post. It makes me laugh, actually. If I were writing this for an audience, it might matter. I’m not and I don’t. Ever. In fact, if there were a formula for ways to make people squirm, look away, cringe and stop reading altogether- I could have patented it by now. If it mattered.
Training is hard. Commitment is hard. Actually DOING anything is hard. Follow-through is practically unheard of. Writing about it while it’s all in process? Is beyond difficult.
Pay the price for the attitude you want.
Something else I’ve learned lately? A good attitude is one the drives you to DO what must be done. To BE. You can be an absolute HAG while it’s all happening, you can be angry and ferocious and madly WRONG in every possible way… and then you get the thing done. And that, my friends, is just another kind of good attitude.
Culturally, we’ve been conditioned to avoid the negative. Words like “anger” and “fear” and “stress” and “frustration” and “failure” just send us right to the edge of tomorrow, looking for comfort, solace, soul-nourishing quiet. Sometimes, the only way down is UP. Sometimes, there is no calm until you’ve rowed your boat right into the middle of the storm.
I know. This post is clumsy. Wearing clothes a little too big, a haircut a little too long, sentences a little too choppy. That's what happens when you write with your feet.
For more of the WHY behind the WHAT, click here.
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Also, thank you. Yes, YOU. For being here today, for reading this. For sharing this part of our journey. You make a difference every. single. day. right where you are- because you keep on showing up, keep on holding up your half of the sky.
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19 smart remarks:
"A good attitude is one the drives you to DO what must be done. To BE."
Yes. Absolutely.
:)
Well said.
I believe writing is first and foremost for the writer. If not, then the words fall out empty onto the page. Might as well be invisible ink. Your words are never empty because they come from the real you, not a facade or shell of a person.
Thank you for being real. Donʻt ever stop, please.
You just have to own the anger.
Please do keep telling it like it is.
Why would you lose followers? If readers were to run because a blogger spoke truth, many of us would be ssentially silenced. If anyone leaves, you're better off without them. But I don't believe anyone will leave.
I know you say you don't write for anyone to read. I'm not sure that's always the case. Sometimes you write what needs to be said, what must be said, what people need to read. And that's a good thing.
rock on ti...you are doing a great thing...and if anyone has a problem with that, send them my way...ha...followers come and go aint nothing but a thing...
Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes! As long as you use it to motivate you to do what you have to do, you're doing it right. I still love you (in a non-stalker not creepy kind of way :D)
First of all, I love your writing. I read your posts, and begin to think I'm crazy for even thinking I could write.
You're right, Facebook is glossy, well, for some anyway. Teens have no problem expressing every single feeling they have on there. For others though, I think the gloss is a much needed escape from all of those words you threw out there.... stress, frustration, pain. People, humans... we don't like those things, and I do believe everyone's major life goal is to be happy, and free of those ties that bind and blind us.
I agree, you have to have those things in order to have the good things... right now we have great things, but they didn't come without a cost.
What I want/wanted to do now, would have caused stress, and frustration. If it were just me who would be feeling it, I wouldn't be so quick to give up, but the wife's body doesn't handle the stress and frustration well. So, I gave up, and now here I sit, trying to do something worthwhile. Take care of her... volunteer... try to make a difference somewhere, because that's all I really want to do, mainly because so many people have made a difference in my life.
Now I get to ask a stupid question, right? I loved your post about your Nana. Beautiful... but, why no abdominal muscles? I've read your profile, your childhood sounds amazing, and wonderful, and different.... but maybe I missed something?
@Wendryn: big hugs to you! Thank you.
@PJ: I don't think I could stop. I just sort of happen. And then words fall out.
@Gaelyn: yeah, I own it. It's even got a Titanium stamp on it.
@PattiKen: it seems to be a trend, lately- when I write the rough edges, the process, the underside of the tapestry- it makes people uncomfortable. Life's like that.
@Brian: *grins* I'll do that. Have a feeling they'll stop short of running off at the mouth at you, mostly on account of your mohawk.
@Tam: you're a special, wonderful person and you can stalk me any ole time!
@JTC: hmmmm. check your inbox. :)
Also, pursuit of happiness is simply a different form of suffering. What is good now may be bad later; what is bad now may be good later. Things are never exactly as they seem, especially when we're in the middle of a situation.
I thought this was one of your best posts ever.
(Or would adding the "ever" be a tautology? Heck, you tell me, you're the writer!)
It's a great cause that you and your daughter are fighting for, in every sense of the word.
Have fun at the tournie,
cheers from Oz,
dave
Dave, you're just full of The Awesome. Always. Tautology or not, the 'ever' stands.
Thanks, mate.
It's hard work, as a Mom, instilling those attitudes in a child, most of the time they learn it by watching. She has been watching you, and you've done a good thing!
Eh. Who needs glamour when the temps fall way below zero F or -18'?
You and Des are the real deal—adventurers and 'doers'! We just returned from getting a bit of exercise with Toklat, playing fetch in peaceful proximity with a moose (gender uncertain, to us, that is). Bit of sun, exercise, an ungulate in the burbs, record-breaking snowfall and low temps—I love it.
And now to read your post about you and Des, pushing the boundaries even further. Sweet!
Writing with your feet, great illustration! doubt you will lose followers, this is what your blog is all about. Good luck with the fund-raiser!
In my enthusiasm for the entire post, Ti, I forgot to mention the cool photo treatment, or compliment Des, and lots of other things. Beautifully done— the whole and the sum of the parts.
I like very much that you have the word "Endure" on your foot as you write this life. I find what I'm made of only by reaching deep and dragging it out when what I face is much too big. There are many forms of courage when you're willing to remain alert. I'm sustained by the bravery of imperfect people.
"Sometimes, the only way down is UP." I loved this- picked it out, for me, this says so very much.
This is a new year with new fights to pick and old shadows to illuminate (and dispell). I look forward to every post you write and I particularly like the baggy, clumsy, shaggy feel of this one- honest, bold and above all true. Choppy is beautiful.
You have a small voice cheering for ya'll in SC! Go get em! :)
Words that don't come from the heart aren't worth reading. Clumsy or not, what you write is honest. And that is why I keep coming back for more.
Also, go Des!
Anyone you lose over this post wasn't worth keeping anyway, which I'm sure you already knew. I'll be pulling for both of you in the tourney! Way to go, Des! And keep up the great posts, Ti!
So, like, are you just sorta, kinda waitin' for us all to beg for a follow up of how the tournie went? Cuz if you are, then count me as beggin' mate!
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